Big Girls Don't Cry - Christmas 2012

By Lynn Felder, RYT


Do Cry

Big girls don't cry.

Boys don't cry. Period.

Ever heard that baloney? Well, to that, we say, "Bah! Humbug."

Here's our Christmas gift to you and you and you: Feel like crying? Let her rip. Sob. Sniffle. Snort. Weep. Wail. Whimper.

We're not encouraging sadness, but if you feel sadness, then go ahead and feel it. If you feel like crying for joy, then cry for joy.

Lynn spent a wonderful Thanksgiving with relatives-in-law in Rockingham where the hostess' grandmother had died not so long ago. While reminiscing after the sumptuous meal, the hostess who had been mostly raised by her grandma, started to cry and immediately began apologizing for it.

Well, why shouldn't she cry? She adored her grandma; her grandma is gone. It's a perfectly good reason to cry.

We are begging you: Never apologize for your feelings. Never apologize for your tears.

Judi's grandson, Zane, was born last week. It was a hard labor for our lovely Heather, but when it was over guess what? everybody cried!

One year, after a particularly bad patch, Lynn warned her family and friends that she was going to cry whenever she felt like it. After a lifetime of buying the "big girls don't cry" BS, crying felt so good that she has continued to do just that. She always carries Kleenex.

The holidays are especially emotional for most people. There's the pleasure of spending time with family and friends, enjoying traditions and making memories. There's also the missing of people who are now gone who used to share in those traditions.

Plus, to our already busy lives we add the busyness of shopping and wrapping and doing extra cooking and cleaning for occasions. We push past our limits, get stressed out and oh, my god! we might just need to have a little cry.

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. " Ecclesiastes 3:1. Enjoy this.

There's a time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to be born and a time to die. This year we lost our dear teacher Billy and we got our dear little Zane (who will no doubt teach us tons).

Tears wash our souls clean. They help clear out built-up emotions and then let us get on with the rest of our lives. This season and throughout the year, honor your feelings and respond humanly.

If you need to cry, cry, for crying out loud. Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. This might help.



Copyright by Lynn Felder December 2012. Lynn Felder is an award-winning journalist, a yoga teacher registered with the Yoga Alliance and the author of the DVD “Gentle Yoga for Cancer Patients,” available at

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